Encountering the Mystery through Desire
The Mystical Journey is not an idea, it is an invitation. Here are some ways it can show up in our lives.
N.B. For the past couple of months, my friends on Patreon and I have been exploring the question “What is mysticism?” by drawing on the wisdom of Evelyn Underhill and Bernard McGinn. While I believe it is impossible to ever nail down a topic as nuanced as mysticism in a single definition, I think we can explore a variety of ways to at least approach the topic, if not definitively define it. This is the first of five posts where I offer brief invitations for some of the different ways people like you and I might be able to encounter the mystery at the heart of mysticism: a mystery that can never be fully captured in words or earthly ideas (Note: if you’d like to join this conversation with me in monthly Zoom meetings, join Patreon by clicking here).
A First Way to Encounter the Mystery: Desire
Often when I am speaking with someone who has asked me for some insight into contemplative or mystical spirituality, I’ll begin with a deceptively simple question: “What do you want?”
Sometimes people have no idea how to answer this question. I don’t blame them: we have all been conditioned to think that desire has no place in the spiritual life. Even if we’re not Buddhists, we understand that the Buddha linked desire to the root cause of suffering. However, the New Testament can seem just as dour on the subject of desire. “One is tempted by one’s own desire, being lured and enticed by it,” warns James, who goes on to say, “it gives birth to sin, and that sin, when it is fully grown, gives birth to death.” Who wouldn’t want to avoid desire, if that’s where it leads?
But more than once, when Jesus was interacting with his followers, he would bluntly ask someone some variation of “What do you want?” Such a question is hardly answerable if we dare not trust or even acknowledge our desires! Meanwhile, a Trappist monk’s solemn vows often begin with his abbot asking some variation of this question, “What do you seek from God and from the church?” Once again, it assumes that there is some degree of desire: certainly enough for someone to pledge their entire life to a specific spiritual community.
Maybe desire, in itself, is not a problem, although the object of one’s desire might determine whether it is spiritually beneficial or not. Desiring sensual indulgence, especially at the expense of another, is hardly commendable; but if our desire calibrates our lives toward intimacy with God, toward compassionate service and toward personal growth, perhaps it is a desire worth fostering.
Mysticism, it seems to me, often begins with some sort of desire: a desire for God, a desire for spiritual growth and contemplative living, a desire for an experience of union or divine intimacy. These desires may need to be refined or matured over the course of a dedicated lifetime. But just because a desire is limited at first does not make it worthless. The solution to an immature desire is taking the time to nurture a more integrated yearning.
If you want to live a mystical life, get to know your desires. Be prepared to surrender, or at least transform, the ones that appear to get in the way of your longing for God. But also, be prepared to nurture the desires that invite you into intimacy and love: walking the mystical path means letting desires like those, under the guidance of the Spirit, truly lead the way.
Quotation sources: James 1:14-15; John 1:38; Mark 10:51.